Woke up from the sleep

In L4 compartment, seat 2D by the window side in the shutter train from Kuala Lumpur to Langkawi; the night outside was dark as usual but was decorated by the white and orange color street lights. As the train moved in the speed of 110km per hour, I could see buildings after buildings passing me by in the twinkle of the eye.

Silver tears was running down my cheeks. I didn't tried to hold them back. People who saw might just presume them as evidence of bitterness - A young man who have had a tough relationship with his girlfriend or that one of his parent has died.

Nobody would have expected, they were tears of joy and relieved.

After a month and 13 days of home-escaping experience, I have finally realized where I really belong.

Kuala Lumpur, is a modern city. It has almost everything - Sky-high buildings, entertainments, modern technologies, variety of people, abundance of job opportunities.....

I could stay a little more longer than 44 days. I could sleep a few more KL nights and woke up in a few more KL mornings. I could bare a little more longer and tolerate just long enough until August ends. And I could buy what I have always wanted to buy and eat whatever I wanted to eat. The money will allow my luxurious dream to come true.

It was really very tempting. It wasn't hard to choose wrong. It took a lot of my courage to choose the opposite; to turn my back on what money has to offer me.

I considered, I weighted and I struggled between choices.

And then in one KL morning that I realized, I was hardly living.

So what if I were wearing Calvin Klein, holding LV wallet and Gucci sunglasses; living the modern and luxurious KL life. Who will be there to notice me? Maybe I will get a few second of attention from people whom I pass by.

The few seconds of admiration, it is worth it? Again, Is it really worth it? When I have people, somewhat 200km from KL who would just give me their 100 percent attention, 100 percent of the time. People would feel proud of me and treat me as their precious even if I am just wearing a plain white T with no brand.

Yes. I cried tears.

I cried tears of joy that I still have people who would love me unconditionally. I cried tears of relived because I am finally going back to people I value and value me.

I finally left KL, back to a place I called home.